I am feeling lost, and I should write the reasons. I hope that in a few months, or worse, in a few years, I can tell myself that something improved.
My current job
The story started nearly a year ago. It was a summer day, and I asked my lecturer if he could recommend me a place to work for the summer. He took me to this "Research Institute", and here we are.
My colleagues were mostly nice and helpful, especially with my boss. He is a calm and cool man, whom in Vietnamese should be called "uncle" since he is about 20 years older than me, but he told me to call him "older brother" anyway.
Working at the place were fun, and taught me a lot, even though it was quite stressful sometimes. I always look at the "seniors" in front of me and hope that they can guide me, or they can give me a good solution, but they rarely have the time for that, or they often get stuck themselves, too. Maybe my feeling of lost comes from that. I actualize my solutions in the hope that they work now, and will not break later.
My unexisting love life
I promise that I will write about this later. The title will be "limerence". The story was such a mess and an embarassing experience that I am not sure sharing it is a good idea.
I always feel like I did not do my best in my current circumstance. I inheritted good genes from my parents, since my health is good and so is my brain. I did not have to worry a lot about money. But still, I feel like I did a lot of bad choice in my daily life, mainly from the fact that I sit in front of my computer too much. I hope that I can change that.
Ugh. You know it. That feel when you know that your brain is not functioning properly from the toxicity that accumulated all day long.